As far as guilty pleasures go, spending an afternoon reading my spam folder ranks right up there with watching trashy Hindi films. If you haven’t seen a garishly made up heroine oozing ketchup from her mouth as she lies dying in the arms of her sweaty, hairy and slightly balding lover while singing a sentimental song two octaves too high, well, you really haven’t lived. Google yourself and you’ll end up with the same tired links of you buying some property or having authored some paper or some conference you attended or if you’ve had a more interesting life, a mug shot with an arrest record. No matter how many times I refresh my Facebook feed, no one seems to be liking my witty posts and artistic photographs. My Twitter and Instagram accounts languish in the silent anonymity of forgotten graveyards. But when I open up my Gmail Spam folder, Bournvita! I get an instant ego boost. First there is Sarah who sends me an email almost everyday inquiring if I am indeed Sajid. Yes I am Sarah, yes I am. Karla, likes the pictures I sent her although I don’t remember sending my pictures to her or anyone for that matter, but my memory isn’t what it used to be, so who knows? There is Becky whose heart beats faster whenever I enter the apartment complex which seems a bit strange since I live in a single family home. ABCMouse.com seems to really want me back and BeachCamera sends unreal deals specially to me. Veronica keeps congratulating me for my unsubscribe request that is in progress; not sure why that deserves a pat on my back, but hurray to me. Apparently, the internet has figured out my love for Russia because there are fine ladies from Moscow to Vladivostok lined up to date me. And its not all love; I have a few emails from the IRS threatening me with jail time for tax fraud if I don’t respond right away. Whether it’s Diwali or Eid or just another weekend in Illinois, Shibani from Hungama is always inviting me to upcoming desi events around Chicago. It’s been a while since I attended a New Years party, but the Bollywood Glitter Ball with Daisy Shah in Bensenville, IL sounds very tempting. Let me know if you are interested and I’ll forward the invite. Do yourself a favor though, take a moment from your busy schedule and look through your own treasure trove of trash that is just a click away.
Happy New Year.